Remembering Stan

Stan was an amazing person. He was the most unselfish person I have ever known. He never complained, and he had the self confidence of a giant. Stan believed he coud do anything. If what he wanted to do was physical or mental, it didn't matter if it was difficult, he just kept trying until he mastered what he set out to do. Stan's positive attitude inspired me to do things I never would have thought of doing.

Stan was the perfect example of what someone can accomplish if they believe they can. When Stan decided to enter a triathlon, he jumped in with both feet. He entered a half ironman for his first race. He was a  poor swimmer but he trained seriously. I can't imagine how hard swimming must have been for him because it wasn't hard for me.  He did the same yardage I did in training, not at first, but he built up to it. It wasn't his favorite part of the triathlon but he never wavered. He did however love riding the bike. Cycling was tough for Stan and so was the running. But he loved being an athlete. I was happy for him. As a child, Stan was an asthmatic and was never able to do sports. So in his mid sixties taking up participating in a sport must have been something he never thought he could do.

When we were first married Stan's asthma was a constant issue. He suffered so much. But he never complained. He said he had always had it and just accepted it. Treatment for asthmatics when Stan was growing up was not very advanced. The first time I saw him have an asthma attack  I thought he was dying. His asthma attacks were a way of life for  Stan but somehow over the years they became less and less until they were almost non existent.  He continued to have sinus issues however, sometimes severe. But by his sixties he was able to exercise fairly  normally without allergy issues, at least well enough to train seriously several hours a day.

Remembering all the training we did together are some of my most beautiful memories.   Stan always said I was better than him but he could climb hills like they were no 'big deal'. When we trained in Hunt Valley, Stan would always beat me up a hill. In fact there were hills I was never able to climb but Stan stood up in the pedals and pumped like it was easy. He had such strong legs. Frequently I would have to walk part way so Stan would wait for me at the top of the hill. Sometimes he had a long wait, since walking a bike is pretty slow. I was better at long distance but Stan was the better climber.  He liked to tell people I was faster than him, so I was glad he excelled in the climb. Stan's climbing ability earned him a 4th place finish in the Lake Placid Ironman. I was so proud of him. Lake Placid in my opinion is harder than the Hawaiian Ironman. I have his Lake Placid 4th place medal hanging on the wall.

It recently occured to me as I was thinking  about Stan one night and missing him as I do every night, that Stan told me he loved me everyday for 58 years. Every single day. No matter if he was out of town on a business trip, or if it was one of the rare occasions  that I would be out of town, if one of us was sick or in the hospital, we always managed to be able to talk a few minutes and say good night and "I love you".

One of the first things that was so hard for Stan and me was that he lost the ability to speak well. He simply couldn't form the words and I couldn't understand him. Sometimes his words were clear as anybodys but he could not carry on a conversation. He evern started making hand signals that we could understand. When Stan was seiously ill, he spoke very little, slept most of the time but still managed to tell me every night that he loved me. The last night before he died he could not talk. His words were just sounds. When I kissed him goodnight and I told him I loved him, his words were garbaled, but I knew it was "I LOVE YOU".

I think of this often. Stan loved me more than anything in the world. And even if we had a day of unpleasant disagreements he still told me everynight that he loved me. As I remember back to all the years, I am amazed and blessed to be loved with such deep and true love few ever know.

Stan sacrificed so much for me and our family out of the love he felt for all of us. I don't know where all that love came from. But that was the way Stan was. He gave all of himself and he gave it with joy and love.

How We Met cont.

Stan and I met at 4:00 in the afternoon to visit  over a coke.  Coke dates were pretty short because they were usually scheduled between classes. I think we talked for 2 hours. Stan did indeed have blond hair. It was golden blond, thick and curly. He was also skinny as a rail with an adams apple that bobbed up and down when he talked. He was taking a Total Shakespeare course and liked to talk about Shakespeare. I knew next to nothing about Shakespeare but I listened politely and he liked that.

 Stan was a senior and was due to graduate in a month. So we didn't have a long time to get to know each other, since I would be going home in a month and so would Stan. I think we saw each other every day that month. One Friday, Stan invited me to go home with him that weekend to meet his parents. Stan was taking a computer class and could not leave until the computer had finished running his program. Those were the days of room sized computers and computer cards. We couldn't leave until he was done which was around 9:00 PM. We hung around the computer room until it was finished. I seem to remember it was pretty noisy.

Stan's family lived on a farm and driving to his home took about 2 hours. Somewhere along the way Stan said he needed  a cup of coffee. We stopped at a truckstop and Stan wanted me to have a cup of coffee with him. I had never drank coffee before, but he insisted I needed to stay awake too. That was my first ever, cup of coffee. I didn't like it very much and added a lot of sugar and cream to my cup. I still don't like coffee much but I like cream and sugar a lot.

We arrived at the farm around 11 PM and Stan went in the house to wake up his parents and tell them he had brought a girl home. Mom, as I came to call her got up and fixed us bacon and eggs. I don't remember when she fixed up a place for me to sleep but after we ate she asked me if I needed to go to the bathroom before I went to bed. She took me outdoors to the back yard and said we can go here. We squatted in the yard. I was appalled! This was 1958, I had always used indoor toilet faciities.Stan hadn't told me they didnt have indoor plumbing.

Years later I heard that Stan's dad knew I was the girl he would marry because he had never before brought a girl home.

How We Met

I was a freshman at the University of Kansas and I lived in a girls dormatory called North College. We didn't have cell phones back then in1958, but the dorm had a switchbord and if you had a phone call a buzzer rang in your room and you went down the hall to answer one of two phones in a phone booth.

I got a call one day in April and when I said hello someone identifed himself as Stan Williams. I had never heard of Stan Williams but he said a friend, whom I had dated previously, had recommened me as a 'fun' date. He then asked me to go out with him. I told him,"I don't go out with boys I don't know." Soo, he suggested a 'coke date'. Back in those days at KU, a coke date was simply meeting to share a 'coke' at the Student Union to meet and get aquainted.  There were no strings attached and no obligation to pursue the friendship further. I accepted. He told me what he looked like so I could identify him later, 6 feet tall and blond hair. On the agreed upon date, as I was walking into the Student Union earlier in the day, there was a tall, blond boy walking out that resemblled the description Stan had given of himself. I said, "Are you Stan Williams?" He said yes and I said, "I have a date with you this afternoon". (This is pulling at my heart strings)

 I wasn't overly impressed. He was just a guy and it doesn't hurt to meet new people. Little did I know this was the man I would marry and live with for the next 58 years .

Facebook post from my Granddaughter Shannon

Farmer. Rocket Scientist. Iron man. Husband. Daddy. Grandpa. Hero. 
I am heartbroken that my grandpa is gone, he taught me that hard work will get you far, but that life isn't worth much if you don't share it. He was one of the most generous people I have ever met and the most stubborn. Praising God that he is not suffering anymore but devastated that he is gone.

Memories from my Granddaughter Stephanie

My Grandpa passed away earlier this week. He was a strong man, in every sense of the word. Physically, he was a triathlete, and a tough competitor. He showed me to how to give my all in everything I do (and no matter how hard I tried, I never could beat him in a game of Monopoly). He was stubborn, and showed me how to be strong willed and stand up for what I believe in. He was brilliant, and am proud of all his accomplishments at NASA, and elsewhere. What I adored the most about him was the way he loved. Even after he had dementia, he could still tell me about his first date with my Grandma. He told me how he knew right away she was something special. He kept her out later than he said he would so that she would miss a date she had later that day. She ran away from home in order to marry him. From that day he did whatever he could to make her happy. From watching them, I knew he lived to make her smile. Their love story is better than any I've read about and I'm blessed to have been around to see it. 
Rest easy Grandpa, I love you.

The Beginning

We were the Ironman Team before anyone ever heard of the Ironman Triathlon. Our coach Troy Jacobson gave us that name when Stan and I started doing Ironman triathlons together.

This is our incredible journey that started when we first met at the University of Kansas in 1958.